L is for: Lies Readers (Sometimes Accidentally) Tell

This post is part of a series I’m so excited about: “The ABC’s of What I’ve Learned as a Medium and Intuitive Healer.” This is my full-time career, and I am thrilled for the opportunity to share what I’ve learned!

*I say Spirit to mean God, the Universe, the Cosmos - I use these phrases interchangeably for all enlightened beings who help us. I use “greater Spirit” or “Spirit” to mean everything out there, taking care of and managing in here: Them as a group and concept. You may choose to substitute the word “Spirit” with Jesus, Archangel Michael, Allah, Lakshmi, Kuan Yin, The Universe, The Cosmos, or about a billion other names, and it doesn’t matter. Spirit is all this and so much more than we can ever understand. They don’t care what you call them so long as you give them the same respect they give you.*

Lies Readers (Sometimes Accidentally) Tell Their Clients

I guess I want to begin by saying I have worked with a lot of psychics and psychic readers (and a lot of energy healers, who generally do not seem to do the same things which will follow, due to an underlying understanding of how energy works), and I am honored to know and grateful for everyone in our spiritual community who tries their best to maximize good and minimize harm with the knowledge they have.

I do not think anyone needs to be perfect or have all knowledge of their subject to be a reader, and that’s not what I mean to imply. Since any one of us could study any psychic subject for a lifetime and have more to study, none of us can expect to be perfect as a reader. The point isn’t perfection, but a good reader does need to believe in growing their skills and knowledge so they can be a little better for their clients than they were the day before.

As a reader, as anyone who gives advice, we have to know everything we do trickles down. If someone takes our advice, it then affects everyone else whom they know, which then affects everyone they know, on and on.

This is a bigger deal to Spirit than I know how to convey, and one they still remind me of often in my practice: nothing a reader or healer does stops in that room or on that day.

We affect people’s parenting, their livelihood, career, and finances, we give advice on marriage and relationships and fertility, some of us work to help with physical health ailments. When I’ve given out bad information and come to find out I had misinterpreted, I’ve gone to any lengths I can to correct the information, because I take what I do very seriously.

It’s not a joke or party trick when we’re channeling for those who have lost young children, partners whom they loved, friends and family members whom they miss. But a lot of the world does think it’s a joke or a party trick. A psychic who chooses to be a reader can choose to contribute to the idea that we are selfish con artists at worst and a joke or insane at best, or a reader can choose to contribute to a new paradigm by taking it seriously and knowing as much as they can about what they do, and by using their gifts to maximize good and minimize harm. A lot of the world thinks working psychics feed off people’s addictions - and many psychic readers do. When I have a client who has clearly become addicted to readings, I send them away (at least for a while), knowing I cannot help them and they need to go inward and talk to their higher self before any readings can help them (and that’s the point of psychic readings, to help). It’s important for working psychics to stop seeing clients in pain as a source of income, because it’s contributing to the global idea that we’re evil, vampiric, con artists.

For the purposes of this blog post, when I refer to a psychic reader, know I mean an actual psychic with gifts who can ethically conduct psychic readings. Many working as psychic readers are not and cannot (a large part of the reason people think all of us are frauds), but for the purposes of this, from here on out, please assume I mean actual, credible psychics in the first place.

I know this post will stir up some upset, but it’s important to me (and to Spirit) to address these things, as they’re rampant. And at any point, if something upsets you as a psychic reader, I encourage you to speak to your own guides about it. I know a lot of the mistakes I’ve made (and make) have come from taking something I learned at face value, and not working with Spirit on my own to get more information or more context. So if something I say doesn’t feel right to you (in this or any post, as well as within my readings and services) I always encourage everyone to try to work with Spirit on their own to get to the truth themselves. This is why I work so hard to connect my clients to their own spirit guides - I don’t think anyone should be dependent on readers to get information from Spirit. If you’re inclined to have a knee-jerk reaction, talk to your guides and you’ll find that they’re very passionate about what follows.

I am not perfect and wouldn’t claim to be - I know so much now I wish I’d known years ago to help clients I’ll never see again, and I imagine in years I’ll feel that way about clients with whom I’m working now. I learn a lot through my work, and I still have readings teach me new things all the time or widen the way I interpret existing information. Because I count on my lack of perfection even on topics I know well, my practice relies heavily on working with Spirit and giving the process, every process, over to them. Whenever I create a new reading, I ask Spirit what it should look like. I ask them how they would break it down, which questions they think it’s important I ask, if they would add to or remove anything I contributed - I never, ever build a reading or healing service by myself. Spirit works with me (even beings who are not my guides also show up to offer support and advice as I build a new service) and tells me how they see the information, and how they feel I should best get it to others.

Similarly, with each of my blog posts so far, I’ve asked Spirit what I should write about, and with each topic, what they thought was important to include, and if they would add to or remove anything I said. The following topics were ones they chose for the situations we see most often, and the points made about them are the points Spirit thought it was important to make about mistakes readers, often accidentally, make.

So, following are lies readers (sometimes accidentally) tell their clients.

Lie: “I can look into someone’s thoughts and feelings without their consent.”

Let’s just start off with the biggest one and the one most people will want to fight me on, consent. Boy, is it a doozy. People who swear by consent in every other context do not seem to see their desire to invade someone else’s mind as a severe breach.

For an example (I’m using gender neutral names and not citing a specific couple because I’ve had too many instances of this to count):

Riley and Andy broke up two months ago, and Riley is not returning Andy’s messages. Andy hires a psychic, and asks: “What is Riley thinking?” “What is Riley feeling?” “What is Riley doing?”

The thing is, Riley has spirit guides too, and they have a say in what information is passed. It’s even likely that Riley and Andy have guides in common who have not taken a side whatsoever, as they see Riley and Andy’s sides equally and care that each of them find peace and well-being together or independently (usually impossible for either Riley or Andy to believe).

If Andy has hired a good psychic reader, they (let’s call them Philip) will explain that without Riley’s consent, they cannot say for sure what Riley is thinking or feeling. Riley’s spirit guides would have to have a say in any psychic information passed about Riley, and they care about the fact that Riley has not consented, as your spirit guides would care if someone tried to get information about you without your consent.

Andy would not like it if Riley could know for sure what Andy was thinking or feeling, and Andy would not like it if Riley hired Philip or anyone else as a spy or voyeur. This is just true. Not one of us likes to be spied on when we’re the one who is trying to exit a situation, so it’s kind of unfathomable that we should try to do it to someone else.

The moment we do something to someone else though we know we wouldn’t want it done to us, we’ve created a lot of energetic problems.

There’s the (bigger) chance that Philip will not tell Andy this. There’s a big chance Philip will tell Andy that this is no problem. It’s even possible/likely that Philip specifically has it listed that looking into someone else’s thoughts is no problem. Now, whether Philip knows this or not, Riley’s guides will absolutely not provide any accurate information (or likely even show up for the reading, other than to check that Riley’s consent is not being breached), nor are Andy’s guides allowed to give any information which doesn’t specifically pertain to Andy.

So, whether with Philip’s knowledge or not, the best a reader can do is get answers surrounding what Andy already thinks is true about Riley. Whether it’s accurate or not, when we read about a third party with no consent, everything we read is filtered through the person for whom we’re actually reading.

Which means if Andy thinks Riley is a narcissist who is for sure seeing other people and thinking that Andy is a jerk, then Philip will read that from Andy’s energetic systems and what Andy is putting out, and Philip will say Riley is a narcissist who is for sure seeing other people and thinks Andy is a jerk. And Andy will go, “Oh my god! I was right!” whether or not that is true.

And all spirit guides involved will shake their heads and sigh. And now Andy has negative karma for attempting to breach someone else’s consent, which means Andy will be put in positions to have their own privacy violated, until Andy understands that they violated someone else, and becomes someone who wouldn’t attempt to violate someone else’s privacy.

(This is also true if one uses divination and something I have to tell clients often - if you ask tarot cards or a pendulum what someone is thinking, doing, or feeling without consent, you will get incorrect answers and still have to deal with the karma of having been willing to violate someone else’s privacy until you go through enough situations that show you violating someone else’s privacy is just not okay because you do not want yours violated.)

But Philip, Philip has even more answering to do. Philip now has negative karma for: attempted privacy violations, lying to a client (with or without knowledge), and being someone who claims to speak for Spirit but who perpetrates more painful feelings. Spirit simply expects a lot from psychic readers and those who work with energy - Spirit feels that when you know better, you have to do better. Since psychic readers are claiming to know better, when Spirit watches them do what is energetically tragic, Spirit has to line up many more ways for this person to see the harm they are putting into the world from a position of influence.

Our spirit guides have a lot to say about consent.

A lot of clients speak as if their spirit guides have undoubtedly taken their side, see every situation the same way as they do, think their ex is a monster too, etc. So to them, they’re not breaching consent, of course not. Because they’re in the right and the other person is in the wrong and God has clearly and firmly chosen a side.

To every believer, God is already and always on their side. And Spirit is on your side of course - but they’re on everyone else’s, too.

Spirit guide readings (and good readings of all kinds) show us that our guides are concerned about *us* and not anybody else. If they want to talk about someone else, they will talk about their treatment of you, and really only within the context of how you are accepting their treatment of you.

So if Philip was a good reader who wouldn’t breach consent, but did connect to Andy’s spirit guides, those guides would be likely to say something about what Andy should do now, and that what Riley is doing or thinking is irrelevant at minimum because Riley is not currently answering Andy’s messages anyway. Spirit very much lives in the reality of what is actually happening and they tell us to, too. There is no good in telling Andy anything about Riley if Riley is not interested in Andy. The only good will come from telling Andy how to move on, because it’s what will make Andy feel best and connect to a sense of purpose.

Our guides aren't there to take our side and tell us we're right, especially because in matters between two or more people, usually no one even is right, and the other person likely also has spirit guides who love them just as much as yours love you.

Our ideas of "who is right" often play into attempted breaches of consent (because we assume Spirit just doesn’t care about the breach of consent because we’re right and justice is on our side), though our guides don't see that the same way we do - they see each party in a situation as equally responsible for their different parts in it.

Even in many situations in which one party seems to be a clear aggressor and the other a clear victim, the aggressor will be held accountable for being on the vibration of aggression but the victim must also get out of the vibration of victimhood if they want to get out of that situation. This isn’t cruel, it’s just true. No matter how one-sided a situation seems, everyone involved is a vibrational match for that situation or they couldn’t be there. This is what our guides are concerned with. They won’t blame or shame a victim but they will hold that person accountable for getting out of a situation, because no one else is capable of making the decisions to get them out. They’re not labeling the victim or aggressor, no one is right and no one is wrong, two people with damage which aligned perfectly met because that’s how energy works. No matter what, no matter who is seemingly wrong in a bad situation, everyone in a bad situation is energetically contributing to it, and each person’s guides are only concerned with the part they specifically are playing, because it’s the part they specifically have control over ending or continuing.

Spirit feels that our being willing to breach another’s consent though we know we wouldn’t want someone spying on us shows our most animal instincts. We never seem more human to them than when we’re willing to do anything to another that we wouldn’t want done to us. Asking Spirit what someone else is thinking should not feel different than watching them get dressed through a window, because it’s the exact same breach of privacy (some would say much worse, since at least a window was theoretically left open). So if we wouldn’t want to watch someone through a window and would recognize there are reasons it’s illegal, we shouldn’t attempt to look into the private thoughts of others. We wouldn’t invade or violate anyone’s physical home, their body, or anything else which does not belong to us without assuming there should be consequences - asking about someone’s mind should feel this viscerally wrong.

Also, and this is a high-level lesson so many don’t understand it: It won’t make Andy feel better in the first place to know what Riley is thinking, feeling, or doing. Someone who isn’t answering our messages just isn’t answering our messages, and hearing that they’re happy or sad or having sex with someone new or completely alone or joining the circus or the National Guard will not ever make us feel better by any measure. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what actually makes us feel good. So when I do have clients come to ask what their ex is thinking, doing, or feeling, (or anyone besides their ex, and I mean it when I say this is very frequent) I tell them it doesn’t matter, because Spirit only cares about them actually feeling better.

It will not make Andy feel better even to hear that Riley is suffering or miserable or dead because the only thing that will make Andy feel better is for this painful thing not to have happened. Since that isn’t possible, the only thing that will make Andy feel better is finding self-validation, which only comes from moving forward and not ever hearing what Riley is doing. So this is what Spirit will say.

Spirit also feels that trying to forcibly breach consent via a psychic reading is our being controlled by ego, because we also usually know what other people are thinking, or at least how they're willing to act on their thoughts, because we can see their behavior. We often get a psychic reading hoping the reader will tell us something we know isn’t true - we’re hoping they’ll tell us the exact opposite of what someone’s behavior is clearly telling us is true. We usually already have the answers and just don’t want them. The person just doesn’t want to speak to us anymore, and no answer to why that is or what they’re doing will make us feel better (even regardless of how it is also none of our business).

When one's heart is open to the bigger plan, they don't consider breaching consent. When one believes in karma, in Universal plans, in Spirit guiding them to their highest outcome, they don’t even really consider breaching anyone else’s consent. When our heart is open to the bigger plan, we don’t come to a reader with questions like, “What are they feeling?” but, “What am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? How do I move on from it? What did/will I learn from this? How do I use it? What new thing will I have space for when I’ve cleared this?” These are the questions Spirit (and a good reader) is concerned with.

For two side notes on consent:

Some people ask: how are they doing? And while Spirit is still hesitant to breach consent, and still knows the answer will not make this person feel better so should not be given, this is tonally wildly different and so are the motivations, and it doesn’t come with exactly the same issues. Also, if we ask Spirit about someone who is still involved with us, like, “Is my partner cheating on me? Are they doing this behind my back? Are they lying to me about this?” Etc., Spirit will tell us the truth with the hope that we will use the information, because they absolutely think it’s our business to know what someone involved with us is doing if they are breaking the terms of the relationship (that does not extend to asking what our partner is thinking, feeling, or doing without reason to worry, like we wouldn’t want them to do this to us - if we feel the need to ask these questions about our partner with no cause, the relationship has things to work through). We tend to already know these things in our hearts, which is why we’re asking in the first place - to confirm something we feel pretty sure is true. If we’re paranoid and it is not true, we should go through the inner work of understanding what is making us feel like that. If we find out it is true, and we don’t immediately leave the situation, we could benefit from inner work in regard to why we’re accepting that treatment, although it’s upsetting us enough to ask about it. Everything will always come back to us and what we personally can do with the situation we’re in because that’s all we control. Even when someone is doing something wrong, Spirit will be interested in questions about how to get you out of or over the situation - they’re not interested in blaming the other person and won’t help you do so.

I am not tempted to breach consent with my partner whom I trust very much, but I do occasionally have difficulty not breaching consent with my son, who is 18. My son is a great kid with an excellent head on his shoulders, and it is still sometimes difficult for me not to ask my spirit guides what he is thinking, feeling, or doing, though even as his mother, unless he is in danger or endangering others, his spirit guides would not tell me. I sometimes want to know things about his relationship which aren’t my business. I understand how emotional it is to want to know, and sometimes we want to know for good or positively-motivated reasons, like to keep someone safe, or because we feel like we know best, or we just genuinely want to know them better. I’m not judging or shaming anyone, no matter their motivations for wanting the information. I’m not judging or shaming anyone who falls into any of these traps. They’re incredibly human, and we’re incredibly human. I don’t think I am exempt from or above any of the difficulties I talk about.

Lie: “My gifts are perfect and complete, I have no room or need for new beliefs, knowledge, or growth.”

My gifts have changed noticeably this week, and I've been a working psychic for years. This week I made a point to finally read a few books I've had in my house for years, and within each and especially combining knowledge from the three, noticeable growth was available to me. I may have been able to come to it sooner, or maybe I waited until now to read these books even though I've owned them because now was the right time and I had the right background knowledge to use them. Either way, I grow my gifts all the time, they evolve as I do, and it comes from a willingness to adapt my belief systems and to admit when I can know more about a topic. (And as I said at the beginning, any of us could study any topic forever and have more to study - there isn’t even one of us who can’t get better at our gifts today. This shouldn’t be embarrassing or imply you don’t know enough now, it should be exciting that endless growth is available.)

Our psychic gifts and the growing of them can be a great cycle: new growth from new knowledge from new awareness. We become aware of something, we learn more about it, and then we grow from it. (And then we rest to integrate.) No stage of that cycle is helpful without the other stages. We never move if we never accept that we have room to learn more than we currently know, and we never grow if we never then apply that knowledge to ourselves and our own abilities. Every good working psychic *wants* to grow to do and be the best for themselves, those whom they care about, and their clients. Perfecting a psychic gift is impossible because as Spirit always says: As we ascend the mountain of our psychic gifts, the mountain is made taller by the ascent.

No psychic gift is ever complete, and there is no psychic alive using their maximum potential. When a reader takes on the idea that their gifts are "done," they do a disservice to everyone for whom they ever read. It does no one any good to pretend we know everything, no matter how much we do know.

Lie: “I can tell you exactly when something will happen for sure/I can predict the future with certainty.”

The future isn’t set. We find ways to fight our fate every day, not even to mention the ways we fight our small, everyday guidance from our guides and higher selves. Your spirit guides themselves do not know which guidance you will take and which you will ignore, what will be obvious to you and what you will miss, or anything else about what you or anyone else will do with any certainty. People are often surprised by this, but I mean it - we surprise our spirit guides every day with what we do and don’t do with their advice, so when they predict the future, they’re telling you how things will go if everything stays as it is energetically right now, which is often not the case by the time the future rolls around.

I used to do readings for three months in the future, six months in the future - but now, I really tell my clients that the future will look like the present without some internal changes. I have come to realize over my career that very little is fated to begin with, and that we fight our fate almost daily. I’d rather help my clients learn to build their own future with intentional creation than to try to predict the future when it will likely continue to look like the present, and like whatever you’ve been thinking heavily about for the last few weeks. If you’ve been thinking of lack, your future will hold more lack. If you’ve been thinking of abundance, your future will hold more abundance. How do we know? Look at your life. Does it look like what you’ve been thinking about? In every case, yes. If we think about hostility and how everyone is out to get us, we run into every fight to be had in any given vicinity. If we think the world is a friendly place full of loving people, we find every helpful, kind person who could further our cause. If we think we’ll find money around every corner, if we think we can’t help but lose at everything we try, if we think we’ll never find a partner, if we think everyone we ever meet will treat us poorly, etc. etc. etc.

I am not saying precognition doesn’t exist, and I am not saying no psychic can predict the future. I have predicted the future for clients with accuracy many times. I have also gotten it incorrect as many times, and not necessarily because I incorrectly interpreted, but because the future is not set and we change it all the time. So in a six-month reading, usually, someone has changed their fate enough within that six months to make it unreliable. I used to do five-year readings, and I’ve had many clients come back to tell me how accurate those were, years later. But I also noticed sometimes the year itself would be off completely, but a very specific event would still happen, just not in the timing I’d given.

I like to do things I’m good at, so I no longer do these kinds of readings. (And I am not saying no one should, I’m saying there are inherent challenges which I can’t necessarily get any better at with work or practice, and I personally can’t stand that so I won’t participate because I’m stubborn.)

There are a few reasons why readings about the future are uncertain at best. One, already explained, people usually change their future daily by taking some intuitive nudges and ignoring others, listening to their higher self sometimes and ignoring them other times, etc. Another reason is that time for our guides simply does not work the same as time works here and for us. If you ask them a question about yesterday, they quite honestly say, “When was yesterday?” Unless you’re thinking of a specific event which can orient them to your time-space (more on this). High-dimensional beings (like deities, angels, saints) have a much easier time saying when things will happen or when things happened in the past when they’re breaking it into years, and have a harder time with months or weeks because they see the situation from a much more zoomed out perspective. The closer they zoom in, as they explain it to me, the more details are skewed as more possibilities are available and more variables are present. To them, when they look too closely, everything that may happen is happening, and they cannot tell the difference. They can give you what they feel is the most likely scenario with the factors they can see.

Something also very misunderstood as a concept: timing for pre-ordained events depends on where and when you are in your journey, not on physical time. It’s not that you’re meant to meet a soul connection when you turn 20, it’s that you’re meant to meet them after you’ve worked through your childhood trauma. It’s not that you’re meant to meet your life purpose at 41, it’s that steps will naturally unfold toward it once you’ve learned one specific thing which has been available to you for some time.

A lot of this comes from a misunderstanding of fate. We think if we’re fated to meet a soul connection or meet a purpose or move to a new city, Spirit will make it happen. But, they can’t. The best they can do is repeatedly show us intuitively that we should move, or apply to a new place, or say hi to a new person. They try constantly to move us toward our fate, and many of us miss big, fated moments simply by not being where our guides thought we would be at the time.

Spirit wants to say specifically that on their side, one of the biggest problems and barriers to timing is that most of us are holding incorrect ideas of who we think we are vs who we actually are. Our spirit guides and higher selves give us intuitive nudges all day, every day, but soooooo much advice is misconstrued and misapplied and we read into the wrong details and speak for our guides as mentioned above - all these things make everything take much longer to come to us, or more accurately, it takes us much longer to get anywhere as we wade through all this unnecessary data. Things usually aren’t waiting to come to us based on them, big life changes have to come to us based on us and when we’re in an energetic place to receive them. Nothing our guides can do can speed up our being willing to work through an old memory or trauma and clear space, nothing they can do can force us to move even if the move is fated - all they can do is try their best to lead us toward where our soul is trying to go, and we fight the process more often than not.

Time-space (not just when, but the meeting of when and where something happens) is important and moments of profound intensity are meant to imply just that - that the moment isn't coming around again so we need to take it. When we watch fate unfold in front of us, we feel it in every cell of our body, we know we’re witnessing something important, and we’re supposed to feel like that because there is a very good chance that moment truly cannot come around again. Because our guides and higher selves may never be able to get us or us and another person/other people to another acceptable time-space to achieve the desired outcome. Our guides are both more and less powerful on this plane than we often give them credit for - they cannot snap their fingers and hand us anything, nor would they - part of our journey here is to learn that if we miss a moment, they cannot always or often get it back for us.

Our guides don’t know what will happen in the future with certainty, which means no psychic reader can know what will happen in the future with certainty.

Successful precognition is a thing, especially in the immediate short-term or on bigger scales with longer timelines, and it often depends on a soul’s life plan or someone’s energetic systems reflecting their past lives. Let me explain what I mean by this.

Before entering into a new lifetime, our soul makes a “life plan,” (many people call these many things including blueprints) in which they lay out by what ages they expect certain things to happen based on their wildest dreams and highest hopes. So, occasionally a psychic can access big, fated future points in a soul’s life plan. (For instance, we may get hit with the sudden knowledge that this person is meant to start a new job, move to a new city, be given a huge opportunity, at some point in the future - we can relay this, and it is accurate to the soul’s life plan. But it still counts on the person in front of us taking every intuitive nudge between now and then to actually make it to the soul’s plan, and sometimes they don’t, which makes a correct prediction look incorrect.)

Our energetic systems (our chakras, auric fields, meridians, etc.) also hold onto significant, often traumatic events from past lives, and we’re likely to have a repeating incident at the same time if we don’t clear that energy. This isn’t anyone’s fault, it isn’t being done to us, but if we’re holding a severe trauma in our auric field from when we were 31 in a past life, life seems to reflect energy no matter what (the problem underlying the energy hasn’t been worked through or the trauma would have been cleared), and one is likely to have another incident that year in this lifetime. So again, sometimes we hit on things like this (whether we know that’s what we’re doing or not), and can again successfully predict an incoming illness, difficulty, or trauma, but we’d be better off to refer that person to energy healing to clear that trauma so they don’t have to relive it.

Lie: “My life, business, or relationships are falling apart, but I can help you enhance yours.”

For the same reason nutritionists are not overweight and financial advisors are not in financial crisis, one should not go to a reader whose life is falling apart and expect good advice. Many readers act as if we’re somehow above the advice we give. Worse, they give advice Spirit would *never* give, such as that you should *also* take actions which would clearly let your life fall apart. Those who can work with energy understand the underlying nature of it, and they understand their accountability and energetic involvement in a situation which has gone poorly. Their lives are rarely in shambles, and their relationships, especially, are not being taken for granted or abused. Anyone who tells you to disregard your relationships is not speaking from a place Spirit would ever speak from. Spirit’s only agenda is to make us better parents, partners, friends, and even coworkers because it's what moves the cultural and universal paradigm forward and brings order from chaos. How one can be better to those around them or show more forgiveness and compassion are huge aspects of many readings.

Here's a good test for whether we’re contributing to the cultural order or chaos: If everyone in society acted exactly like we personally do, could the society function? If the answer is no, it's probably a good bet that what we’re doing is wrong, at least in Spirit’s eyes, and they wouldn’t support the behavior. If we’re lying, cheating, stealing, killing - we pretty much have to depend on most other people not behaving that way for society to function. If we’re cheating, we likely still invested in our partner being faithful. When we lie, we often still hope others will tell us the truth, especially those whom we care about most. Many driving without car insurance are counting on those who have it. Those who poison drinking water rely on their family not having to drink it. Many problems with society come from fewer and fewer of us functioning in a way which actually helps society function. Not any one of us is above this or should expect to be the outlier who can behave poorly because others are doing well. (Small tangent - Most of us rely on others for our scientific advancement, the advancement of knowledge for the species, the growth or downfall of humans - not any one of us can do everything, but we can each contribute to all of us ascending, or we can each contribute to making sure none of us do. Spirit is so inspired by the fact that on any day, at any moment, we can do anything, become anyone - each of us is as likely to become a chemist who comes up with a life-saving medicine or the person who invents exactly what the world needs at that moment. Many of us count on everyone else moving forward and taking us with them, but the more of us who contribute to that, the less the few doing the work can carry the weight, and I think it speaks to how much of the world is suffering. Spirit helps those who help themselves and work with those who take accountability for the situations they create in the world.)

To have a successful business, (as a reader, healer, or anything else), one has to have the ability to follow through with what they start. If a reader is constantly giving up or losing too many resources to finish what they start, they're not in the position to tell others how to live their lives. And this isn't said to shame anyone - it's important. I would never ask a client to do something I am unwilling to do. I wouldn’t feel confident giving advice if my life were a mess and I were unwilling to take the same steps I ask my clients to take. To tell others that we can give them advice they should actually take, it means we should be leading by example, or else why should a client trust that following our spiritual advice would actually enhance their lives? I'm not saying a good reader has a perfect life or never runs into crisis - that's impossible and we all have our struggles. But a good reader understands energy, and that each of us personally causes the effects we experience, and that if we are unsuccessful or do not have follow through, we can't teach others about equilibrium or follow through, which are two of the most important things, most often discussed in readings.

Lie: “I work with deities and angels to harm or curse people.”

I have had angry clients threaten to call on Lilith and every other being in Spirit to curse me, and I don’t exactly shake in my boots, even if I know the person believes they can do this. Spirit would never, ever work with humans to harm anyone else. Spirit has to be inspired to help you, and you can pretty much bet whoever you want to curse has spirit guides too - no matter what anyone thinks, they're never the only one with abilities or Divine protection. And someone who is likely to say something like this, to claim to work with Spirit for harm, does not have even one spirit guide to their name. Above all things Spirit hates chaos and disorder - we are here to make order from chaos, not ever the other way around. Violence and endangerment, without exception, cause more chaos, and it is simply not something any actual member of Spirit is willing to do. When people use their names this way, it enrages deities and angels, and if the person did have spirit guides before that, they definitely don’t after.

Harming other people is against Spirit for several reasons, one of which being that it's simply illogical. Harm never, not once, causes more order. Only more chaos, and it causes chaos for all parties including the one who believes they’re doing the harm. Hurting other people, even intentionally hurting other people's emotions or mental state, is self-sabotage, because doing so pokes holes in one's own auric field. Enlightened beings, even deities and angels, have chakras and auric fields just like we do, and their intentional harm of another would also harm them. Because they understand this cause and effect (and because enlightenment is really a matter of understanding cause and effect on all levels), they aren't willing to hurt people, and they certainly wouldn't listen to a human's demands to do so (so arrogant I hardly know where to begin, though I’ve been on many a rant about it). I work closely with Hel, Lilith, Freyja, Artemis, Baba Yaga, and many others whom humans love to say they "command," and it's human nonsense. I have met readers who claim this, some who believed what they were saying, and some who knew it to be a lie. I honestly don't know who it's more dangerous for, and good luck and god bless to them all.

Kundalini energy is the perfect blend of masculine and feminine energy - when one has a Kundalini awakening, their entire chakra system is cleansed and changed over the course of what often takes years. Enlightened beings all have perfect Kundalini - they’re an emotionally and mentally stable blend of the masculine and feminine in one being. A person with healthy chakras, and/or a person who has had their Kundalini awakening is, in every case: A person who knows their worth and safety and cares about others' worth and safety, feels creative and wants others to feel creative, feels confident and resourceful and wants others to feel confident and resourceful, is loving and empathetic, and communicates as if all this were the case. A person who is safe, secure, confident, loving, and expressive, simply doesn't ever need to yell, fight, or curse someone else. Enlightened beings (again like our higher-dimensional spirit guides; deities and angels, etc.) have healthy, gorgeous, alive chakras, and they want the same for you. They don't take your side in an argument and decide to hurt someone else over it (and, again, if that were the case, why aren't that person's spirit guides cursing you? It just doesn't work like that). Spirit is, above all things, fair and just. Their job is to teach us how to make order out of chaos; how to take whatever we're given and turn ourselves into safe, secure, confident, loving, and expressive beings who want the same for others. No one who actually feels good needs to hurt anyone else. So if we’re inclined to hurt someone else, in every case, just like our first example, Spirit tells us to sit down and think about ourselves instead.

Lie: “Spirit’s advice is for you to be petty, ugly, cruel, or violent.”

I find that pettiness and ugliness run rampant through the spiritual community in a way which is... interesting for those who understand how energy works. Anytime we treat anyone in a way which we wouldn't personally want to be treated, we're setting up at least ten lessons about to come our way. Every time we mistreat someone, our spirit guides set up a minimum of ten ways to ensure we'll feel how the other person felt in the coming time. Sometimes we learn, and sometimes we continue to enact the same behavior over and over and wonder why we never experience anything new (and likely complain about how toxic everyone else is). In any case, a reader who advises you to be petty, cruel, violent, or honestly even unpleasant, is not working with Spirit. I have done thousands of readings, many of them specifically spirit guide readings; I talk to my own spirit guides and the guides of my clients all day, every day. *Not even one time* has one advised anyone, in any situation, to lie to or cheat on a partner, to lie to or hurt a friend, to harm or abuse anyone - in fact, every single reading in which those things were factors in anyone's lives, they've been a main topic of conversation as something Spirit wants to address should stop immediately.

If someone tells you to lie, cheat, steal, or harm someone else, they do not have an understanding of how energy works, or they would understand that these things are each extensive self-harm, first and foremost. Our auric field and chakras are damaged every time we harm or even disrespect anyone else, so no spirit guides would give anyone advice to do anything which would harm their energetic systems. They're forever trying to move us forward, never backward, and they won't put us in more pain or help us create more chaos in our own worlds.

Readings are meant to be in service of Spirit in the first place - one isn't getting the information from nowhere. It's a sacred space in which one can be connected to all that is when they need something bigger than themselves. Robbing them of that opportunity by saying one can speak for Spirit when they don't really know the kinds of things Spirit would say is simply wrong, and it offends our guides. Every bit of advice Spirit will give will be for the good and ultimately for unity, even if they encourage necessary separation when two people will truly be happier without each other, for instance.

When I've been inclined to get involved in my clients' drama, it was because I had too much going on in my own life and I was trying to ignore it. When my relationships were unpleasant, I was more likely to get involved in hearing too much about my clients’ negative relationships, for instance, because it allowed me something to think about which was not my own pain or frustration. This was petty of me, and I see it in retrospect. A reader who is overwhelmingly interested in your business beyond what is appropriate is likely creating distractions from things in their own life which need to be tended to, meaning they’re not in the energetic position to advise. Again, a good reader should lead by example, so they shouldn’t show inordinate interest in your more painful life situations other than by trying to help you get out of them, and being interested in your pain as a source of dramatic interest is petty.

Gossip is a quality Spirit tends to really hate (and they don’t go so far as to say they hate much) - and it's one they point out *often.* If one talks negatively about all their friends, their partner, their family, even a coworker, it's likely to come up in a reading. We pretty much unanimously don't like knowing others have spoken about us behind our backs, so why would we think it was okay to do it to anyone? A reader should understand energy, so they should know better. A reader who is gossiping to you about their other clients is likely also gossiping about you - don’t assume you’re the outlier. It’s like when one friend talks negatively about all their other friends to us - we have to know they’re saying as much about us to everyone else.

Additionally and most importantly, going back to consent, if a reader talks openly about their other clients, especially with negativity or with details, it's a really bad look. You wouldn't want your reader telling others about your embarrassing life situations or painful traumas - why would you let your reader tell you about anyone else's? All of these behaviors are what contribute to the idea that all of us are selfish, petty thieves.

Lie: “I don’t work with Spirit, my power is mine.”

The way someone views Spirit and the way they work with them has a huge effect on how well their gifts work. Our gifts, all gifts, are filtered through our seventh chakra (as well as our five personal out-of-body chakras, if they’re not dormant), which can only be open when one has respect and reverence for something bigger than themselves. Many who believe themselves to be psychic or divination masters have not yet been through their spiritual awakening, because in every case, our spiritual awakening is kicked off by the first moment we realize the world exists for more than just ourselves personally. I don’t say any of this to shame anyone - but it’s very important to know you may be going to a reader who does not even have guides or gifts, and who may not have been through their spiritual awakening. If they seem overly selfish, petty, cruel, etc., or encourage that in clients, they have likely not yet finished their first ascension path - the one which teaches each of us that what we want for ourselves, we should also want for others. Our awakening, our first ascension path, is meant to teach us that we all ascend or none of us do, so if you wouldn’t stick out your hand for another, you can’t expect someone to stick out their hand for you. If your reader doesn’t take this approach, they aren’t working with Spirit. (They either aren’t working with anything, or are working with entities whom you do not want to be involved with. And just, like, believe me. Again I know the cool, edgy thing is to say, “well maybe I want to channel demons, you don’t know my life,” and frankly I’m getting to the age where I just don’t find this shit cute anymore. I work in entity removal, and after having seen people’s inner children tortured and ripped to shreds on a daily basis by things adults thought were funny to channel, I’m personally over it.)

In every use of psychic gifts (and magic) ever done on this planet, how inspired Spirit is to help is a huge factor. (Which is why breaches of consent don’t work as well as people think - Spirit simply isn’t inspired at all to help someone do that, so they don’t.) One will give much better readings if they're giving readings with help from a large group of spirit guides, meaning readers would do well to live well and build a relationship with as many Spirit-approved beings as possible. The more someone is willing to take on the mindset that infinite growth is available to them (and to clients through them), more and more spirit guides will show up to help with the endeavor. Good readers have many more spirit guides than the average person (so their gifts are much better and more reliable), and bad readers usually have few or no guides, depending on how much direct harm Spirit feels they are causing.

To explain that a little more thoroughly - when I do spirit guide readings, I may have one or two guides in common with the person for whom I’m reading, or I may have more or many. Nearly all psychic readings are done by the reader’s spirit guides contacting the sitter’s spirit guides (again whether the reader knows that or not), which means the more spirit guides I share with the client, the more middle men we’re cutting out of the process. Instead of my guides speaking to yours, I’m speaking to one guide whom I already know how to speak to and who knows both of us very well. It significantly impacts how well readings go - whether the reader or client has many or few spirit guides. So if a reader isn’t living well or learning a lot, they will not have many guides, and they will simply not give as accurate of readings because more interpretation and less direct communication is taking place.

*I want to bring up another difficult, high-level concept: gifts are given from Spirit, but not taken away. There are (relatively few) people who do have psychic ability, use it to harm or try to harm others, and have been abandoned by their spirit guides. The more psychic ability we have, whether innately (the older a soul, the more likely they’ve been having psychic expressions since youth) or built through hard work and dedication, the more we are supposed to understand Universal under-workings and the paradigm that we all ascend or none of us do. Some people have access to gifts, see it as personal power, and begin to live through ego, and Spirit won’t take their gifts from them. (Spirit also won’t help with their gifts, meaning they’ll never do as well by a long shot as they could do with an open, loving crown chakra.) Once someone knows better and chooses to do wrong with their gifts, it becomes a karmic issue, and they’re likely to face karmic debts for abuse of power in future lifetimes. The number of these people is sincerely few - many more who claim to have gifts which could hurt others do not have such gifts in the first place.*

What to Look for In a Good Psychic Reader and/or Healer (from Spirit)

• They treat people like people, and not like a source of income. If a reader charges by the minute or for every follow-up question, is happy to push your reading ahead for an extra charge, etc., it says a lot about what’s important to them. (Which is not to say a reader should work for free - but they also shouldn’t be in it just for the money.) I’m committed to not seeing my clients as a source of income, and I’ve answered hundreds of questions and done significant work for free because it was important that the work be done. If I have access to a service and someone cannot afford it and sincerely needs help, I think charging them for that service is frankly offensive. Those who take money from those who are suffering, and those who take money from those who are addicted to readings and especially if they can’t afford it - this is contributing to every negative idea about all of us.

• They would never tell you to do something they would/do not do - they lead by example, and their practice is (at least mostly) one you would want to emulate.

• They’re not overly obsessed with personal power. A good psychic doesn’t want to inspire you by showing you how amazing they are, they want to inspire you by showing you how amazing you are. A good reading, even a tough or difficult one, should ultimately be about uplifting and empowering the client. A psychic who is overtly obsessed with themselves or their gifts and wants others to be cares about attention more than those whom they’re supposed to help.

• They’re willing to update their methods, and their readings naturally change over time as their knowledge, awareness, and gifts change.

• They encourage you to move past your comfort zone, and their readings aren’t necessarily exactly what you want to hear. A good reading should be honest, even when things are difficult. An easy lie doesn’t help anyone, but a painful truth can. Readers who tell a client exactly what they want to hear are contributing to the idea that we’re all liars and con artists who will say anything for another dollar.

• They’re paying attention to their own shadow work, and it’s obvious. They aren’t telling you how to live your life while theirs is quite obviously in shambles, completely oblivious to the ego inherent in that. A good reader has to be willing to do everything they ask of their clients, which means regular introspection and growth and listening to their own guides about how they personally need to grow. I still do readings for myself all the time, too. My life is pretty great, and my guides still have plenty to say about how I could improve it/myself. A good reader doesn’t think they’re above putting in the work they ask you to put in, and they will never speak as if they’re clear of or above the faults that come with being human.

• They are emotionally mature, and not explosive or chaotic. Some of us are more rowdy than others by nature, and this isn’t what they mean. What they mean here is that a good reader has a firm grasp on their emotions and what their emotions are trying to show them, and someone who feels like that rarely needs to behave noxiously.

• A good reader will care about helping you find peace, equilibrium, and contentment. They will help guide you toward a sense of purpose, happy and grateful to be part of your journey, however small. They will not encourage or offer services meant to cause overt harm or pain to anyone, as those who understand energy understand this would come back on them significantly.

I said at the beginning that healers don’t tend to do a lot of these things. I notice among energy healers, and people who can actually read chakras and auric fields (this is not a common gift, despite common opinion), they all begin to say the same things. If you asked me, Tyler Henry (a medium), Caroline Myss (an intuitive teacher), Cyndi Dale (an energy healer), Malidoma Patrice Some (a shaman), Sarah Kucera (an ayurvedic practitioner) - we would likely all give you different definitions of almost everything based on our cultures, experiences, and lenses. But I notice with all of them, as well as hundreds of others I could have listed, when I read a book from someone who understands energy, all say the same things about conduct. All say the same thing: that we are Divine light in these human bodies, meant to heal, help, and further the paradigm. No two of us see any of these things the same way, but there isn’t anyone working and doing well in these fields who will tell you that you can conduct yourself negatively and have healthy chakras, that you can live a heinous life and manifest positive experiences, or that our soul isn’t suffering every time we mistreat those around us. Those who understand energy understand that we all need the same things to thrive, even if we go about them wildly different ways.

If you’re still reading and don’t hate me, thank you! I don’t say any of the above with any malice, but with genuine concern as more people get their spirituality from TikTok readers who don’t know how to read. I worry about the spiritual narrative and paradigm being pushed by those who are not spiritual people, and it breaks my heart to have so many clients come to me with these stories. I’m completely open to (kind) discussion about your experiences surrounding these things, even if you disagree! Thanks for reading. <3