Getting to Know Me as a Reader, Healer, & Mentor

It feels simultaneously like everyone hates and ignores these initial posts, but also like they’re obligatory, so here we go!

I have worked as a medium, intuitive healer, and intuitive mentor for years, each online and in-person. I feel so honored and blessed to have experienced all I have and had the opportunity through thousands of readings and sessions to work with people from so many countries and lifestyles. The further I get into my career, the more I wish I could bottle what I feel for Spirit so others could drink it. I wish I could hand clients easy solutions to all their problems, and to me (and every working intuitive I’ve been lucky enough to work with myself), “give ourselves over to the bigger plan” is more or less the answer to every ailment. 

This is how I try to live. I have given myself over to my higher self, my spirit guides, the greater Spirit, and to their plan for me. I don’t nail it every day, but on as many days as possible. My motto and what I teach is that we can choose to feel better on purpose, and I don’t think there’s an easier way to feel better on purpose than to give ourselves over to universal truth that we all need the same things to be well, and that we already know what those things are. We do and should go about it wildly different ways, but wellness is math. It’s an equation we can solve. 

I have the great privilege of having one of those lifetimes in which I have almost been two different people. My former me is unrecognizable to myself and those who knew her. Years ago, I was in a much more corporate career. I regularly worked twelve hours per day, and even when I didn’t, my job and how much I hated it took up most of my thoughts. I never got to see my son, and each of my other personal relationships were strained at best and traumatic at worst. I had a pit in my stomach every waking moment and genuinely wanted to die right from the minute I woke up every day. I had put my whole life into my job, and I knew it was miserable and so was I, but I didn’t really know what else to do. At least, I said I didn’t. My spirit guides at the time had pretty much no advice for me other than: get out of the career and relationships you are in and everything will fall into place. I found this impossible to believe. For actual years, I went to tarot readers and psychics, more for fun than anything though I’d always had small expressions of gifts and I did believe by this point, and in every case, every legitimate reader could only tell me my life was miserable and inauthentic, and that there was nothing to be said until I took the next steps.

I didn’t want to take the next steps. I knew what they were, I knew what movement was necessary, and I’d known it since long before any reader said it to me. But this was the lifestyle to which I had grown accustomed, and whatever was waiting for me on the other side was at minimum unknown, and not this carefully constructed image I had built. Over about a year, I made some moves on my own and the universe made some for me forcibly (this will happen if you ignore your calling and inner voice long enough), and suddenly I found myself in a different city, a much smaller and shared home space, not in the only career I’d ever known, single, realizing I didn’t have any friends I actually liked because all my friends were work friends with whom I’d spent the last decade gossiping and being petty - just ugly. I felt like I’d taken a thousand steps back and that my entire life had fallen apart under my watch.

However, quickly, things started coming back together. The gifts I’d always had small expressions of started to explode. I’d done little readings for my friends even while I was in my former career - I’d always had a knack for mediumship and feeling spirit guides - but after this, it felt like I couldn’t take a wrong step. I met people I needed to meet, things unfolded naturally, and without really knowing what was happening I started to read full-time. My readings grew as my knowledge did and as I had access to more gifts, but they started very simple for where I was at the time. My gifts with energy work unfolded naturally later. I opened an Etsy store, and I got to meet and work with people from across the world whom I wouldn’t have had a chance to know otherwise. Everything went like magic once I’d busted down the barriers between me and my inner voice, the voice that reminded me I had always known my former life was wrong and I was unhappy, and that I could have felt better a lot sooner.

I was now capable of closer and healthier friendships, and even the former friendships I’d had through work started to shift and became about new, deeper connection, since we could talk about something other than how much we hated our job and coworkers. My son and I were close for the first time in years. I knew I needed to be single until I could root out the toxicity I was creating in my relationships (this is a two-way street - if our partner isn’t the best, we’re not either, because we’re a vibrational match or they couldn’t be in our life). I played a game called “Wouldn’t It Be Nice If…” and wrote down everything I’d ever wanted in a partner, down to things I thought I’d absolutely never find (someone who doesn’t use social media, someone with similar values on monogamy, someone who would maybe be nice to me, someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time out in large crowds which make me ill from psychic and stimulus overload - these things were and are very important to me, and I didn’t think I’d ever find them). I stayed single until I felt like I was ready to be a good partner to someone like that, (it wasn’t quick), and the day after I decided I was ready and downloaded a dating app, I met my current partner, who has every quality I listed down to a T, and who also has some awesome ones I would never have thought to ask for. I could not have found him on my former vibration.

I’ll likely talk about energetic resources a lot in my coming posts, and this is one reason this is so important. Toxic relationships of any dynamic take our energetic resources from us so we can’t devote our time and thoughts to what matters. Worrying whether a partner is unfaithful, or whether our friends really like us or talk poorly about us to their other friends, or why our parents did what they did in our youth or why they suck now - any amount of worrying over our relationships directly takes the resources we need to feel whole and healthy and to apply toward meeting our own sense of purpose and fulfillment. When we decide our relationships are the reason we’re lacking that fulfillment, we become bitter and jaded and we don’t treat anyone well, though we have to treat a partner well to be treated well back. When our personal relationships are a mess, it affects every single other thing we do and every other vibration in our lives. I had to get right on the inside first before my relationships (or anything else) could be right on the outside.

I wouldn’t pretend I’m perfect or that my life is, I’m up against minor resistance right now as we all are, which I’m certain will be lovely to grow through even if I avoid it for a while. But it really is amazing to me to look at my life five years ago, and especially ten or more, and see how every single aspect has improved so dramatically there are almost no words for it. I used to want to die every single day, and I cannot connect to that feeling any longer. I can barely remember it. This came from giving myself over to a bigger plan over time. Acknowledging that my higher self and spirit guides have more information than I do in every single way, and that neither would ask me to do anything that won’t make me feel better in the long run. Including take apart my entire life piece by piece and then rebuild it, especially because if I had been listening to my inner voice from the beginning, I never could have ended up in such an inauthentic and painful life to begin with.

This is something I wish I could explain so much better, and I have yet to find the right words for such an important concept. Every single thing our higher selves or spirit guides ask us for, no matter how difficult, life-altering, and insane it seems, they are asking us to do it because they know what will ultimately make us feel better. It does our higher self no good to make us miserable or to ask us for things which would make us miserable. They’re trying to help us move toward our life purpose, and they’re trying to help us take the easy way. We’re the ones who decide to take the hard way. 

Sometimes, we don’t make our way to our higher self and spirit guides because we don’t want to hear their advice, usually when we know they are right. We know it is up to us to take the next step for ourselves, and there’s a lot of fear inherent in that. What if we fail? What if we do well and it’s completely dependent on us? What will we have to face on our way to doing well? We are often terrified to receive correct advice. The advice is coming from beings who only want what’s best for us. They’re not asking us to leave a long-time career, partner, town or anything else because it’s easy or because they want to hurt us, they’re asking because they know that doing it, making the space in our world and moving forward, is the only thing that can make us feel better than we do right now. If we spend fewer emotional and energetic resources on someone whom we simply can’t be happy around, we have more resources to give to ourselves and our inner world and life plan. That’s why they ask us to do hard and painful things, the only reason. They never ask us to give anything up unless it is directly affecting our ability to move toward our own purpose and fulfillment. No one else can get us out of any situation, it’s up to us. Handing ourselves over to our higher selves is accepting that we already have the answers to our problems and we just aren’t solving them. It’s really admitting that we already know what would make us feel better, that we already know which of our life situations we need to move on from because we always know when something won’t improve. So why don’t we? In my experience, any number of reasons. We can come up with a nearly infinite number of reasons not to follow our inner voice. I still haven’t heard any as good as the reason to follow it: every time we listen to our inner voice and follow that plan to completion, we will feel better when it’s over. And we will feel better when it’s over than we feel when we start. Not might, will feel better.

I will never be the kind of mentor who helps someone blame other people for their problems, and I take a very hard step back if I find myself inclined to blame someone else for mine (again, I don’t nail it every day, but as many days as I can). I will listen to a client describe what hurts them, I will feel it with them, and I will care for them through it. But I will then gently point out that they are the only one who can get them out of it, and that saying otherwise does no good for anybody involved and continues the cycle. I couldn’t have a good partner until I was ready to look at the ways I wasn’t a good partner. I couldn’t have good friends until I was ready to look at the ways I’d also been a bad friend. I couldn’t have my dream job until I walked out of a career that was killing me. I’ve seen this now with all my clients, and it’s math. There are no outliers. We can feel better on purpose, and it comes from self-accountability, and accepting that no one else is coming to fix our problems or make us feel better. We have to if we want to.

Though I am not a therapist and would not claim to be, most of my readings, energy sessions, and my intuitive mentorships really work a lot like cognitive behavioral therapy. I work to help people align their feelings, thoughts, and behavior, because when one does this, success is measurable. Health is measurable. It becomes a matter of taking our wellness into our own hands. Therapy and Spirit alike remind us that no matter who did what to us, they aren’t going to come in our brain and solve our problems - we have to, or we have to accept that we will never feel better. Can’t we see that staying miserable over the person who hurt us isn’t hurting them, but only hurts us further and keeps the situation alive? And that even if it shouldn’t be our responsibility to get better because we didn’t hurt ourselves, that simply doesn’t matter as much as taking any route to feeling better? This is what I teach.

I’m a big-time dork. I love taking concepts from physics and science, from novels, from video games and really anything I can and turning them into different readings and different ways to work through teaching - I pretty much turn everything around me into my job. I love science as much as the most woo-woo sounding aspects of my job, and I believe the gap between science and what’s now considered woo-woo is closing, not opening. It’s a dream of mine to get to work with a scientist who could help me make some of these things measurable, as I believe they will be eventually. Chakras can be felt in the physical body, as can meridians and the energy flowing through them - these things must conform to and fit within physics. In a lot of ways, when I talk about Spirit, I’m talking about the math and physics underneath everything - to me, God is the math that helps us feel better on purpose. I try to see everything as an opportunity to learn, and I want to learn as much with this lifetime as I can! I read every book I can get my hands on on energy healing, intuitive gifts, shamans, and medicine workers from cultures other than mine and research on cultures long over. I am dedicated to continuing my research and growing my gifts and relationship to the Divine until I die. My view of the universe, of Spirit, and of everything I do is constantly evolving and growing with every new thing I learn. I don’t believe we should ever see our gifts or sense of purpose as “done.” There’s always a deeper initiation, there is always further we can go, there’s always something new we can learn and another way to help another person with it.

I believe we all ascend or none of us do, and the best use of my time this lifetime is to help others learn to feel better on purpose as I have been so blessed to learn to feel better on purpose. Wellness trickles down - I have seen nothing more beautiful than the clients who have come back to me months after a reading or session to tell me they feel like better parents, better partners, are struggling less at work. When we let go of the incredible pain in our lives, we make space to be better to everyone around us, and it feels so much better to live this way that to do otherwise should be seen as self-sabotage. I’ve had the incredible opportunity now to watch clients grow over years of working with them, and their progress, in many ways, means so much more to me than my own. I’m grateful to have this sense of community, even with people whom I rarely ever speak to.

I’m excited to be beginning this website, and I’ve decided to begin with a series called “The ABC’s of What I’ve Learned as a Medium and Intuitive Healer.” I see so much misinformation running rampant on so many topics, and while I know many mean well and intend to spread a good message, the misinformation can hurt more than it helps, and a lot is spread by those who do not work with Spirit or have intuitive gifts of their own (meaning they can’t channel anything new, and can only pass down what has been told to them). My intention with this series isn’t to call anyone out or say the way they perceive things is wrong - I only intend to lay out what I’ve learned from this career and thousands of readings and sessions!

Everything in my practice (and in those posts) is and will be channeled - I don’t use divination unless a client requests it or unless a big clarification is in order. My practice and understanding has evolved over time as my knowledge has grown, and I leave room to understand all topics even better in the future.

I have an Etsy store where I do many kinds of readings, each on video and through PDF. I plan to keep this website more simple, but feel free to check out the specific readings I do on Etsy: https://meetyourguides.etsy.com