H is for: Higher Self

This post is part of a series I’m so excited about: “The ABC’s of What I’ve Learned as a Medium and Intuitive Healer.” This is my full-time career, and I am thrilled for the opportunity to share what I’ve learned!

*I say Spirit to mean God, the Universe, the Cosmos - I use these phrases interchangeably for all enlightened beings who help us. I use “greater Spirit” or “Spirit” to mean everything out there, taking care of and managing in here: Them as a group and concept. You may choose to substitute the word “Spirit” with Jesus, Archangel Michael, Allah, Lakshmi, Kuan Yin, The Universe, The Cosmos, or about a billion other names, and it doesn’t matter. Spirit is all this and so much more than we can ever understand. They don’t care what you call them so long as you give them the same respect they give you.*

Who Is Your Higher Self?

Your higher self is the part of you which remembers every lifetime you’ve ever lived. They know about your life purpose, each of your entangled souls, and why you’re all planning to meet together this time. They know what’s likely to empower you on your journey and what’s likely to stop you. Before you were born, your higher self set up everything you intended to do this lifetime, and their aim is to guide you in doing everything they set up. 

The most common question I receive about our higher selves is: what is the difference between a soul and a higher self? Functionally, there is no difference! Our higher self is essentially a soul fragment. A part of our soul stays in spirit as it always must, but a piece of that soul comes here with us in this human body, and that’s our higher self. It’s the version of you who has lived through every lifetime you’ve ever had, and this means they have significantly more information than we do from our limited, one-lifetime perspective. It also means they’ve experienced a lot of things you haven’t, and all their positive and limiting beliefs from all those different lifetimes became your quality or problem when they became part of you. Your higher self really is your connection to all your soul's past experiences, traumas, karma, and sense of purpose.

At any point, we can connect to our higher self for an entirely new framework for how we view the world. All dreams look significantly more possible and likely when we relinquish some control to the part of us who knows exactly what we came here to do.

What Is Your Higher Self Hoping to Achieve?

Your higher self’s main goal is to try to ensure you follow their life plan. They know why you came here, they know why you chose this particular lifetime with these particular conditions - they know what they are here to do. Your higher self is your intuition. They are that little voice inside you which reminds you to follow your purpose.

And that inner voice is magic. Every time we listen to that voice, our life gets a little better. Not may, our life does get a little better every time we listen to the voice inside us that reminds us we already have the answers we want. We may not know our life purpose in as many words, but we feel it in every cell of our body. If we can’t read the Akashic Record, we may not know who our entangled souls are, but we feel it the moment we meet them. Connecting to your higher self is really a matter of accepting that the universe is inside you, that the answers you need are already inside you, and that version of you who wants what’s best for you, but has significantly more information than you, can help guide you through this world.

Isn’t that an incredible thing? So many long to talk to their spirit guides to get the answers they need, but a voice we all have access to can answer some of the most prevalent questions, like: why am I here? What am I here to achieve? What is my purpose? What should I do with this life situation? These and so many more can all be answered by a voice we already have inside us! It should be very freeing. There is so much liberation to be had by connecting to this inner voice which always gladly tells us how best to move forward. 

Your evolution is your higher self's evolution. Everything you do well for you, you also do well for them. Everything you work through in this lifetime, they don’t have to work through in a later lifetime. If you become a little more patient this lifetime, it’s good for children they will have in the next life. If you become kinder, it’s good for romantic partners they’ll have in lifetimes to come. Every step you take closer to your purpose is amazing for them for reasons that go so far beyond this life. 

It often takes us many tries to meet one life purpose. This isn’t anyone’s fault - we forget our purpose when we’re born and then life makes it very easy to ignore our inner voice and live on autopilot. Listening to that inner voice is truly doing what you came here to this human body to do. Everything you do well is also a victory for your higher self. That’s why it’s so important to know you have this champion on your team. They have so much knowledge, advice, wisdom - they can offer so much, completely for free, because your goals are their goals, whether you have consciously recognized that yet or not.

Their Guidance

Your higher self is trying to talk to you every single day of your life. There is nothing you go through on which they don’t give you their input, whether you recognize it as their input or not. The vast majority of pain in each of our lives comes from not listening to the constant guidance we get from our higher selves. 

One way we can tell our higher self is really trying to show us something is by noticing patterns in our lives. If we go through the same thing over and over with different people, if we go through the same situation in a new location, if we go through similar situations with work, with friends, with romantic partners - one way our higher selves really find success in getting our attention is through these repeating patterns. When you’re trying to find the influence of your higher self, all you need to do is close your eyes and listen. But if you struggle with that, look for patterns. Look for areas where you’re going through the same thing over and over without new results. This is your higher self trying to show you what you need to work through or do next!

The second most common question I get about higher selves is: how can I tell the difference between intuition coming from my higher self and paranoia, anxiety, nervousness, etc.? How can I tell when I am receiving intuitive guidance and when I am answering my own questions?

 Well, the two things feel very different! Our higher self is not nervous or anxious, no matter what we are going through on earth. There is no physical situation in our lives (no emotional, relational, or spiritual situation either) which makes them feel anxiety. They have the answers to everything we could come across, so the closest thing they feel is a sadness and a disconnect when we do not listen to their guidance. A lot of our pain actually comes from this, from the fact that we have the answers we are looking for so desperately, and won’t just tune into them, and we feel our higher self feeling sad on our behalf. 

So, while our higher self may feel helpless if we are really ignoring our inner voice (which is their voice), anxiety, paranoia, nervousness - these are sincerely feelings our higher self cannot connect with. They are not anxious about anything going on in your life, no matter how bad it is, because they have at least one answer that would fix it. They may become frustrated with you for not taking what they feel are obvious steps, but again, they are not nervous. 

If we are worried about the future, going over different options, worrying over every detail - we are vibrationally opposed to our higher self in these moments because they know innately that the best way forward is whichever way will take us closer to our purpose and make us feel a little better. They have no other objectives than this! They want to get us to our purpose and they want to help us feel better in a day-to-day sense. It does them no good if we’re unhappy, because then we aren’t likely to be moving toward or living in our purpose. If we’re unhappy, we’re less likely to work through karma and trauma with entangled souls than we are to create even more work for them for later. 

Their entire goal is to help you use this lifetime to your advantage, and to them that means working towards your purpose, working through karma and trauma with entangled souls, and doing your best to maximize good and minimize harm. 

Truly, this is important to connect to: worry, anxiety, paranoia – our intuitive nudges will never feel like this. Intuitive nudges from our guides or higher self feel good; they settle into our body and feel true in every ounce of us. The paranoia and anxiety we can’t help but to create as humans - our higher self tries to fight feelings like that by showing us that we came here to work with them to co-create a beautiful world and that we have control over it. They will never give you intuitive guidance which would make you feel more anxiety, more depression, or more grief. 

You can tell intuition from your higher self because it rings true, and because even if the steps you have to take on the way aren't fun, you know that if you listen to their advice, you will ultimately feel better on the other side.

Connecting to Your Higher Self

There is infinite possibility in learning to connect to your higher self because anyone and everyone can do it! Unlike spirit guides, one does not need any psychic gifts or even divination to talk to their higher self! (Though I definitely recommend divination for those who aren’t confident in answers they get.), Everyone at every level of intuition can connect to this inner voice - it’s mostly a matter of wanting to and trusting what comes. 

Whereas to talk to spirit guides, you really have to develop at least one intuitive gift, your higher self is a voice you are already accustomed to hearing - you just have to connect the dots! This means anyone can connect to their higher self for guidance at any time. 

This should be seen as a world of infinite possibilities because this beautiful voice who wants nothing but good for you is already with you. For your good and bad moments, when you’ve deserved it and when you haven’t, they’ve been on your side. How many times have we each felt like if we just had the right friends, the right business partners, the right romantic partners, the right family - then we could do anything? If someone were just on our team; one person in our corner? I know I’ve felt like that, and I know I’ve had many clients tell me they feel the same way. We always have someone in our corner. We always have someone on our team who wants nothing but for us to feel good, fulfill our purpose, and do what we came here to do. That should feel exciting because it really does mean the possibilities are endless. 

Connecting to this voice means we always have a best friend, a life partner, a business advisor, an advocate. Our higher self can be anyone we need them to be!

For many, connecting to the higher self is as simple as closing your eyes and listening. For many, it’s as simple as recognizing all the guidance you’ve already been given. Often, when we recognize we’ve made a mistake, our first thought afterward is about how we knew what was going to happen before it happened. We knew this was going to be a mistake before we did it; we knew how this was going to go before it went. It’s very mature to recognize that every time we’ve made a mistake, we had first been given guidance that could have pushed us in the opposite direction. Our higher self was there the whole time, telling us exactly how this would play out. 

It can be helpful to tune into that voice and receive that guidance, even and often especially for people who have a harder time with the idea of spirit guides or God in any of Their forms. Many people have a hard time finding faith in the bigger picture or a larger system, but have faith in themselves in their own ideas, and know if they could just tune into that voice, everything would be okay. This is true! My practice is heavily focused on spirit guides, and engaging with Gods, angels, and other beings of Spirit is truly the most incredible experience of my life - one I love to foster in others. But I have many clients who are simply uncomfortable with Spirit, but who still want to learn to work with their higher selves intuitively. This is completely fine! Listening to our higher self automatically takes us off autopilot, and any amount of this in the world is good. You don’t have to do it for Spirit, you can do it for you and those around you!

Higher Self Journaling

I find that it is helpful to have a journal just for talking to your higher self. And be open to whatever you receive! If you sit down in peace and quiet, set the intention to connect to your higher self, and then allow for anything that comes to you - depending on a number of things, including past-life gifts, current-life gifts and intuitive abilities, etc., the information may not come to you the way you think it will. Your higher self may or may not be able to just speak to you in words (if you’re clairaudient), but they can always give you feelings. 

Ask specific questions. This helps move the conversation along. Many begin to talk to their higher self, but don’t know what to ask, so the conversation doesn’t go anywhere. A journal helps because we can employ a sort of automatic writing. 

You can ask your higher self any question, such as: how they’re feeling, what they’re helping you work on most, what feeling, memory, or thought you need to work through, how well you are headed toward or living in your life purpose, what is empowering you on your journey, what is hindering you on your journey, etc. 

There are an infinite number of questions you could ask, and if they’re about you and your personal journey, your higher self will have the answers. As you ask a question, you may find it very easy for your higher self to answer in words, in which case you can employ automatic writing. If your higher self cannot communicate with you in words yet, that’s completely okay! Know that information is still coming, and you just have to open yourself up to receiving it. Write down whatever you do get, whether it’s feelings, words, pictures, knowledge, anything. Something that initially doesn’t make sense may later in retrospect!

These are instructions I would follow for journaling with your higher self:

1. Set the intention for exactly what you’re doing. Intentions get a bad rap, and the spiritual community definitely can overuse the phrase “set your intentions” to the point that it loses meaning. However, consent is important in all areas of life, and setting intentions before you do any spiritual work tells the universe exactly what you’re trying to accomplish and it gives them consent to help you. Setting the intention to connect with your higher self makes it clear what you’re trying to achieve and will put you on a better vibration for getting the answers you’re looking for. 

2. Put the conversation/journaling experience in the hands of the greater Spirit. I put everything in the hands of the greater Spirit all day long, and I find this is how I get the best information, no matter what information I’m after.

3. Ask the greater Spirit to put you in a receptive brain state. Note the difference – it usually feels like that state in between being awake and asleep.

4. Ask a specific question of your higher self.

5. Be open to any impressions you receive, no matter how they come. You may be given words, but you may be overwhelmed with a feeling, thought, memory, an idea for future behavior. You may just know their answer, without knowing how you know. Often, this is still valid. Write down any impressions you receive. I would also set the intention here that impressions may keep coming to you on this matter throughout the day and in your dreams, as this is an easy way for your higher self to communicate with you, no matter what level your intuitive gifts are at.

6. When you’ve asked all your questions, ask your higher self if there’s anything else they would like to talk about. It’s not all about us after all, our higher selves came here with a purpose and they have no choice but to watch us fail at that purpose a lot of times! It’s grateful to know what’s on their radar, what it is they want to work on, and what it is you could be doing differently from their lens.

7. When you’re ready and you’ve answered all the questions you want, thank your spirit guides and higher self and close. 

This method is so great because often, having this kind of journal and going back even once a month to look at conversations you had previously can validate this relationship, your intuitive gifts, and that you’re on the right track. 

The same process can be used to speak to any other aspect of self! Our inner child, our subconscious, our higher self – they work together, and there is significantly less interference in a conversation with an aspect of self than there is with any member of your spirit guide team.

Talking to your inner child or higher self is an excellent way to build upon gifts as well! You may find that this kind of allowing and natural conversation opens you up to more conversations with your spirit guides because it will build upon any existing past-life or current-life intuitive gifts. 

These conversations can also be a great way to open up to ideas we already have but haven’t seen yet. That can be a great question to ask any aspect of self: what idea or thought is on my periphery that I am ready to see? What thought do I already have that I am ready to fully engage with? What persistent thought or emotion am I ready to work through? What has my subconscious already been showing me? So much can be achieved this way!

Through my Etsy store, I offer a pdf reading about coming home to your higher self and finding energetic clarity.

Thank you so much for reading!