T is for: The Mistakes I've Made Recently

This post is part of a series I’m so excited about: “The ABC’s of What I’ve Learned as a Medium and Intuitive Healer.” This is my full-time career, and I am thrilled for the opportunity to share what I’ve learned!

*I say Spirit to mean God, the Universe, the Cosmos - I use these phrases interchangeably for all enlightened beings who help us. I use “greater Spirit” or “Spirit” to mean everything out there, taking care of and managing in here: Them as a group and concept. You may choose to substitute the word “Spirit” with Jesus, Archangel Michael, Allah, Lakshmi, Kuan Yin, The Universe, The Cosmos, or about a billion other names, and it doesn’t matter. Spirit is all this and so much more than we can ever understand. They don’t care what you call them so long as you give them the same respect they give you. I work with these beings closely, as they are an integral part of my practice and career. It is a relationship I heavily encourage everyone to build, as it enhances every aspect of our physical lives and spiritual practice.*

The Mistakes I've Made (and Caught) Recently

T as a letter has felt too easy, which has made it feel too hard. Because for pretty much anything, I can just write "The" in front of it, it has felt like T is a very open-ended post. My guides have had a number of suggestions, but I haven’t felt strongly enough about anything to sit down and actually write it, which is why it has been almost 2 months since my last post.

I recently completely changed the way I do one of my readings. It’s a reading I have reason to do quite regularly - it’s one that comes up a lot and has the whole time I’ve been a reader, and it’s one in which I have found more mistakes than others. (Or, a specific mistake made many times, which we will get into.) To be honest, I have felt for a long time like this was something I needed to change. However, it felt very daunting and I really didn’t know where to begin. Since I have changed the way I do that reading, it made one of my former blog posts almost completely obsolete. I thought about deleting the blog post, but instead, I think it’s an amazing opportunity to show how if you regularly work to build your practice, your readings and understanding of the material in them should change over the years.

The healers whom I love and respect most (and the working psychics in general), if I read one of their books from the 90's or early 2000's, even if they are talking about the same material now, they are talking about it with significantly more knowledge and understanding, and it’s clear that they have taken the time to work on the subject matter from more sides since they last wrote about it. It’s never the same book over and over - even the same techniques by the same teacher evolve with time. This is the approach I try to take. Even though I can now see how the way I used to do this reading caused mistakes, and the way I now do the reading has so far caused no mistakes, I’m not ashamed of that. I’m actually very proud of it.

Firstly, the way that I was doing the reading before wasn’t bad, and my client and I were able to correct the mistake or understand who I was talking about, ultimately. However, this new, fuller understanding of the subject matter has led to a better understanding for a higher number of my clients, and it helps me work through things better as well. Rather than feel ashamed about the mistakes I have made in the past, I am very proud that I have worked to minimize them, and I'm excited to find new ways to do so in the future as the necessity arises.

I have nothing but respect for spiritualists who talk about the ways their practice has changed over the years, because any of us could study any topic until we die, and there will have been more to study. Most of us are inclined to get our first deck of tarot cards and say that we already know everything there is to know about the Universe, we are ready to start teaching others. And I know that when I first began to read, I fell into these ego traps, too. I absolutely felt like I was the best reader there was, long before I was even a very capable reader. I think more readers need to be honest in saying this. Years ago, I was an acceptable reader. I became good at it by doing readings, practicing, and seeing what wasn’t working and adapting my techniques - never fighting the clients who said I'd interpreted something incorrectly. Now, I ask Spirit to give me a rating after every reading or service I provide, so I can know how well I did in their eyes. I ask them what I could have done differently, what I can do better next time, and I know that this will make me an even better reader and healer in the future. I don’t worry now whether I’m the best at anything because I know there are probably several who could blow me out of the water at most things I do, (except for my own personal research, so I work harder at my own personal research). I’m not jealous of those who are better than me, I want to learn from them. I want to meet every spiritualist who can do something I can’t, because I want to learn and grow as much as I possibly can until the day I die. (And then again next time.)

With all that in mind, Spirit and I decided that the best use of the letter T is The Mistakes I've Made Recently. (The one's I've caught, anyway!) I’m going to go back through the blog posts I’ve already done here, and tell you what I have learned since, what I would change, and ways in which I now see a different side of the information I’ve put out. I hope with my whole heart that a year from now, even this post feels old to me because I have learned so much more. And this is the attitude I sincerely recommend every spiritualist take, because it's what makes us great at our jobs, and I think our jobs are very important.

Karma

Before I go into old blog posts, I want to talk about something else that recently rocked my understanding. Until recently, I did not realize the extreme level to which karma is affecting our experience. Not just from past lives, karma from this life. Often, karma from when we were just children. Until recently, I did not realize the level to which every single thing we experience which we don’t like is coming from our karma.

Karma is a system of checks and balances. It is more and less hands-on than people often expect! It is more energetic than anything, and often our guides and higher selves are as helpless to watch us play out our karma as we are. We have often been taught to think of karma as a cruel force which will come and get us when we least expect it, so we call her a bitch - but as the newer saying goes, karma is only a bitch if you are. Ultimately, karma is an energetic system which ensures that we run into everything in the area which could show us how limiting our beliefs are or have been. If we have a limiting belief that makes it so we gossip about others, we are going to run into a lot of people who gossip about us until we understand that every time we gossip, we are putting the karma and the vibrations surrounding gossip in general in our own energetic systems, making it impossible for others not to talk about us. If we don’t talk meanly about others, they don’t think about doing so to us.

Good karma is really the same! If we are someone who would always put out our hand for another, someone else will always put their hand out for us. Karma is a universal system for making sure we run into our own best and worst qualities on a daily basis. Sadly, many of us continue to run into the same negative situations day after day, but don’t see the energetic part we play in them. We continue to be cruel to others and then wonder why others are cruel to us. We continue to make our workplace a hostile environment and then wonder why we hate being there.

This much, I understood. What especially changed for me recently is understanding that we have to address our harmful karma with the knowledge that we have changed to release it. Sometimes it’s very painful to remember clearly a time we hurt someone else or said the wrong thing, damaged somebody or ourselves, etc. But to release the karma from the act, we actually have to be willing to remember thoroughly and learn the lesson underneath it. The karma will stay until we have become a different person - until we are literally someone who would never now do that thing to begin with and someone who can look at the past with honesty. This is something I did not quite understand.

My understanding of karma changing was very important to me, especially because I have really lived two very different lives and karma from the first was still a factor well into the second. For a very good chunk of my life, I had trouble telling the truth, I had trouble in my partnerships and especially romantic relationships and friendships, I was in a career I hated and could barely stomach, and I was not my best self in that place. However, since I left that career, I have been a completely different person. Over the course of years, I left a heinous career for a life-nourishing one, left difficult relationships and built beautiful ones, and I have created a beautiful life which I’m really proud of. Truth is now a virtue I hold possibly above all others. I believe this is necessary to do my job the way I do. I have a partner whom I adore, and who has never said a cruel word to me. Even if I don’t have everything I could ever want. I know that at any time I could work with my higher self and spirit guides to gain anything I want, and it’s incredibly comforting.

Because of who I have been in more recent years, it was hard for me to understand why karma from the past was still affecting me. I thought, I've changed, so why isn't it just over? I still dealt with occasional psychic attacks. Until very recently, I also could feel that my consent was being breached, as in, people were reading my energetic systems without my permission, though I knew this should be impossible.

So, I had to really look at why this was happening. If I’m now the kind of person who would never harm someone else or breach their consent, how could these things happen to me? I had to be willing to look at the source of all the bad karma. I had to be willing to look at the ways in which I used to hurt people, the ways in which I used to have difficulty being honest, the ways in which I used to be a completely different person. Even more painful, I had to look at ways I breached consent, even accidentally, by getting psychic information about others which I'd had no business getting. I had to really look at the truth, and when I looked at those situations with the absolute certainty that I am a completely different person and would handle every single one completely differently now, the karma immediately dissipated. Since that very day, I have not experienced a single psychic attack. I have not felt a single person able to look in on my systems with no consent. I now have no karma for damage, so I simply can’t take damage. Were I to now go out and accrue new negative karma by being cruel to others, being petty, or gossiping, lying, etc., all those things would be open to me again. But as of now, I have truly learned the lessons, so those things can’t affect me. I wouldn't hurt anyone, so no one can hurt me.

This is something I really didn’t understand! We can’t just remove karma from our energetic systems, and it’s because its entire purpose is to show us the ways in which we have been someone whom we would and would not be proud of. If we already saw it, it would already be gone. In every case in which we feel mistreated, spied on, silenced, spoken negatively about - we have to be willing to address times that we have done this as well. It’s simply not possible for it to happen to us otherwise. This is something that has really changed the way I do everything, and the way I teach my clients about karma! It’s also changed everything about the way I teach people to manifest, because this was always the missing link. We can’t manifest new experiences until we look at which past experiences are holding us back vibrationally, and anything which is affecting us through negative karma is typically something about which we feel repressed shame, anger, grief, etc., and need to work through. Once we do, those things can’t affect us anymore, it’s a vibrational impossibility.

Energetic Bonds

The second post I did in this series was B is for Bonds and Barriers. This is about subtle energetic bonds and our personal energetic barriers, or the layers of our personal auric field. While I wouldn’t change any of the information about barriers, and the post was not very much about them to begin with, I would change quite a bit about subtle energy bonds.

An energetic bond or subtle bond is an energetic attachment or link between people, people and spirits, or people and entities. Many are most familiar with a cord or soul cord, an energetic link between two people who are entangled souls. At the time I did this post, I was referring to several other energetic situations as “bonds“. Now, I now see that there are many energetic “situations“ which are not bonds, or bonding or linking beings together.

There are some situations which could more accurately be described as an energetic hold, as it is holding a particular person or people in a situation, holding a person in a particular pattern, or something more along those lines. For a long time, many energy healers have considered many of these holds to be the same or along the same line as a bond, as many times, energetic bonds are negative as well. Now I distinguish between the two, and now I treat the two very differently in energy healing. (As would several other healers.)

I would now say that subtle energy bonds are in the form of cords or bondage. These are the only types of energetic links which I’ve come across, and Spirit says these are the two they would consider bonds. These are specifically relevant for energetic exchanges and there is always a soul or sacred contract attached to it. If you have a soul cord with a romantic entanglement, the two of you will exchange energy throughout that cord and will have a soul contract based on the connection. Bondage can affect more than two people, and many people call this a curse. It’s really an energetic bondage which is linking a number of people together and in a bad situation. It also exchanges energy between all members and there is always a contract associated with it, and that’s the difference to Spirit between a bond and a hold.

The other energetic cases are not exchanging energy between members and do not necessarily have a contract in place. They’re energetically holding people in a specific situation. These are things like markers, implants, and miasms, each of which are further explained in that initial post.

I have also more recently discovered two other holds which I haven’t yet seen other energy healers refer to, but Spirit and I would include them in this category. One I have begun to call a tunnel - these are self-placed energetic holds and it’s almost exactly what it sounds like. It’s more or less a tunnel we make in our energetic systems and we can think of it a lot like a neural pathway. Once the tunnel is there, it makes it very easy for us to go with the same behavior that caused it and makes it incredibly difficult to do anything differently. The second I would call a burrow, and these can be self-placed, but are more often placed by other entities and I see them most often in entity removal. It is almost like a hollowed out spot in the energetic systems (especially acupoints) where something can be hidden at the bottom. (Many different things can be hidden at the bottom - if it’s self-placed, it’s likely a repressed feeling, memory, or thought someone is not likely ready to deal with. A burrow placed by an entity is usually something like a trap door or entrance path for them to get back into your energetic systems through these burrows.) In either case, each a tunnel or burrow should always be removed.

Chakras

The next post I would change is C is for Chakras. While overall, I’m very happy with this post, my knowledge of chakras has deepened so much in the past year, it’s also a little strange to go back and read it because none of it is how I would say it now (and I just did the post in January).

At the time, I mentioned that the five out-of-body chakras (as opposed to the seven in-body) are inherently more spiritual chakras, and they’re likely to be dormant in most people. I now understand the reason for this is very different than I was seeing before. This is actually because our seven in-body chakras, widely known as the Hindu chakra system, have everything to do with our beliefs personally for this lifetime. No matter what, those chakras will light up throughout the lifetime and try to gain our attention, but based mostly on this lifetime's events. Whereas our 8th through 12th chakras, respectively, actually store the belief systems of our higher selves. This is why they are dormant in most, if we are not connected to our higher self, connected to the bigger picture, and connected to ourselves on a soul level, we have no reason to have the chakras open. For someone who is not particularly connected to their higher self, having the higher self's belief systems involved in their everyday life would be very painful and confusing, as the beliefs stored in those chakras come from every lifetime we have ever lived combined.

In the post, I talked about how our chakras are storage for our belief systems, and how our belief systems are what determine what we are capable of experiencing. I now see that that is the main function of our chakras, and that it is so much more thorough and specific than I even realized.

For an example: we can think of the beliefs stored in our chakras as yes or no questions and our programming. The first question in every chakra is a specific version of: “Do I believe new paradigms are possible?” If we don’t, if our chakra says we do not believe new paradigms are possible, we quite literally cannot run into them. A new situation could be right next to us and we couldn’t even turn our head to see it.

I have channeled the beliefs in each of our chakras (if you want them, send me an email! I share them with a lot of clients because they're incredibly helpful!), and the root chakra alone is holding 32 beliefs. These beliefs determine our fight or flight response, our supply and safeguard in this world, how safe we feel, how vigilant we are, how well we understand physical direction, and again whether we are even capable of turning our head to see new physical paradigms right next to us, in addition to so much more. This is why we have to work all the way down to the beliefs to change what we are experiencing. If our root chakra believes new physical paradigms are not possible, those are the vibrations it puts into our auric field. Those are the vibrations we manifest based on, and a new paradigm could be slapping us in the face and we won’t feel it. Every chakra holds these beliefs which determine what we are capable of running into in the world. The same is true of our out-of-body chakras (they're just our higher self's beliefs instead of ours).

I now see that this is what is always causing deficiencies or excesses in the chakras. A deficiency or blocked energy is coming from an area where we do not know what we believe. In the case of, are new paradigms possible? We believe neither yes nor no. This is a block in the chakra, energy cannot move, no vibration is put into the field in this regard, and manifestations are painfully slow. An excess is the exact opposite problem; not a lack of belief but of two conflicting ones. An excess comes from believing both: the chakra says new paradigms are possible and are not possible, it puts both vibrations into the field, likely to extremely mixed results, and manifestations are dangerously fast.

I also now understand that this is how our chakras actually govern our psychic gifts. For instance, our third eye chakra holds this belief in the form of a question: Do I believe I am visually intuitive? If one believes the answer is no, even if they are the most clairvoyant soul in the universe, they will not be able to receive that clairvoyant imagery. This is the same for all of the clairs, they are each stored in a chakra or chakras, and if we believe we are not intuitive in that way, we can’t access that gift. That’s why to develop our gifts we have to start in the belief systems.

Entangled Souls

The next post which I would change is the one which started this whole thing, E is for Entangled Souls. Now, I want to say that I stand by everything in the post, it’s not that any of it is technically wrong. However, since having written that post, I have completely changed the way I look at soul connections, and I will explain why.

In that post, I broke soul entanglement contracts down into the following kinds: parent/child, mentor/student, romantic connections (of which there are two kinds), friends, other familial connections (like siblings, grandparents, etc.), person/pet, or parental figure/child figure.

For years, soul connections have been a very big part of my work. I've been reading for these since the beginning - since my first past lives readings. Many cannot access the Akashic Record to receive information about soul contracts, so those of us who can, Spirit really wants doing it, because the information is so helpful and can change people’s lives to know. Because of this, I have felt very strongly about getting this perfect. However, I noticed that your girl was out here getting these relationships wrong a fair amount of the time. I changed the way I looked for them a few times, and still, as long as I was focused on the relationship, I always had a chance of getting it super wrong. I noticed I had a hard time distinguishing between friend contracts and sibling contracts especially, and a lot of of this was because a lot of the time an entangled soul who is incarnated as a friend or sibling in this lifetime has been the other to us in a different lifetime. But I’ve also just learned a lot about these contracts in general, and I have found that surprising people can hold surprising contracts.

The entire time I’ve been a reader, I have noticed that everyone who accesses the Akashic Record seems to do so differently, which makes sense to me because the information contained within is not exactly contained in human words and is reliant on the gifts of those involved, and everyone’s gifts are completely unique. Myself and another reader may go into your Record to get your life purpose, and the two of us may use completely different words to ultimately come to the same exact idea. I have known this for a long time, but I still did not see a way to rectify that I was having a very hard time seeing which contract was which in some cases.

Now, the way I look for soul entanglement is by looking for what the contract is trying to achieve, so now, instead of muddled relationships, when I enter someone’s record, I see the contracts like this: parental, pedagogical, romantic, inspirational, everyday learning, familial support, surrogate family, or animal support.

Interestingly, something else I have learned and one of the reasons I got them wrong before - a parent may hold a contract which is not a parental contract, but a pedagogical or inspirational contract with their child. A sibling may hold a contract which is not a familial support contract. I have seen a contract which was pedagogical on one side and inspirational on the other. Since I have begun to open up to the way I look at these and looking at what the contract is trying to achieve before looking at the relationship, it has completely stopped the issue with figuring out who these contracts belong to, as they're immediately recognizable for the client when I don’t worry about the relationship to begin with.

Other than that, I think I would keep the post exactly as it is, though everything in it would pretty much be different if I wrote it today. But these are the kind of things I think are very important. If you feel a reading is very important and is helping your clients, but you see that you are repeatedly making a similar mistake or some aspect of it is just not getting through the way you want, change it up! Ask Spirit to help you. My guides were SO much more than happy to help me fix this and show me a new, less confusing way to access things. Really, if I’m honest with myself, I can feel that they had been trying to get me to change the way I looked at this for years. Like for actual years. But, for years, I just said the reading is helping as it is and someday I’ll figure it out.

Frequency and Vibration

For this post on Frequency and Vibration, I don’t believe I would change any of what’s there, but my understanding has again grown significantly since this. The most important thing which has changed for me is that I now understand that it’s absolutely vital to place observation upon the root of a problem. If we heal an energetic problem without understanding the cause of it, it will come back, 110% of the time. We live in an observational universe down to the level of physics. Observation changes things immediately and tangibly - it is the means by which we change our vibrations and what we are manifesting.

To immediately change a troubling vibration, one can ask their spirit guides to place their energetic observation upon the root of the problem with the absolute certainty that it is already healing. When one does this, it changes the vibration which gets the energy moving, the problem becomes apparent, and we can work through it.

Higher Selves

In the post I did about our higher self, I would only change one thing, but damn, it’s a really big thing!

In this post, I not only implied, but outright stated that our higher self remembers our past lives clearly, and essentially spoke about them like a spirit guide who has all the information we do not. I have recently come to understand that this is absolutely not the case! While our higher self does know our life purpose and is trying to move us toward it, and they also know who our entangled souls are, they do not remember our past lives with any clarity unless they are reminded and this is why past lives reading are necessary for clearing out past life-trauma and karma. Our higher self knows they feel a lot for a soul connection, but they don't remember the experiences with this soul or the terms of the contract, and don't know exactly what the relationship was hoping to achieve this lifetime.

While our higher self does have a significant amount of information we do not, and a lot more experience, they also run painful subconscious programming because there is also a lot of information which is blocked off to them while they are in our body. Now at night, they may go play around in the universe with their soul friends, and they know exactly who they are. But from within the compound of our body, our higher self has significantly more information than we do, but it’s also more limited than I said in my former post and than many say and imply. This is something I’m actually going to fix, that post, because I think it’s very important to correct. Our higher self knows a lot, but they absolutely don’t know everything, even about themselves.

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Thanks so much for reading! I'm so excited to put this together, because I love tangible proof of how much I've read, seen, and done in a short time! I refuse to look at what I didn’t know a few months ago as a bad thing, but as the underlying knowledge I needed to understand it better now. I can’t wait to see how much better I’ll understand these topics soon! A lot of these posts aren't even that old, and already, while they weren't *wrong* a lot of the time, the way I look at them has changed so significantly that they feel obsolete. I hope my entire career feels like this, the continual shedding of old skin to birth new eras.

<3 Vani